The Foot Mechanic

Gnarly toes

Have you ever seen gnarly toes dressed in a gorgeous strappy sandal?  "Poor thing" we think. Then "Thank God those aren't my feet".  On the other hand, and I'm sorry to be blunt, but perhaps you look down at your own feet and see Gnarly Toes. 

Here's the good news: you don't necessarily have to have gnarly toes. Ever. And if you do have them now, you don't necessarily have to have them forever. But you do have to do something about it other than hoping or wishing.  Are you ready to take it on?

This is the bottom of your foot. As you can see it is made up of many small bones, and each joint has potential for movement.

The bottom of the foot has lots of small muscles to pull on the bones of the foot. Here I've drawn in the line-of-pull of a group that operates on toes 2-5 (the flexor digitorum brevis group).  If this group is too tight, it will pull the knuckles of the toes toward the heel, creating Gnarly Toes. 

Instead of lying flat like this: 

The toes will be pulled into the classical "Gnarly Toe" shape. (You can correct your podiatrist when he calls it a claw toe. Tell him the correct term is "Gnarly".) I illlustrated this shape with just the little toe here, but you can see what I mean, right?

In life it looks like this:

So what to do about this? You need to lessen the tension on that flexor digitorum brevis group so it doesn't drag the tip of the toes down. In other words, you need to stretch out your feet. Generally speaking, muscles that are tight are also weak and unable to generate force dynamically or powerfully. Weak foot muscles make you a slow runner and will lead to calf strain because the calf muscles will try to do the job of the couch potato foot muscles. So there is a two-pronged approach necessary here: stretch and strengthen. Get a tennis ball and a theraband and join me on the video that I will post this afternoon.

 

 

Men in Heels

Here is a NYTimes article about some fashionable young men wearing tall-tall shoes to parties and clubs in the city.

The problem is that usually men have tighter feet than women, so the male foot stubbornly resists the demands of high shoes.  I'm sure we can all agree that tall shoes are very demanding biomechanically.  If your feet can't negotiate with your tall shoes, a few things are likely to happen:  you fall down or you give up and take them off.  This is not acceptable!  Your shoes are way too cute for that!  You've got to develop flexibility in your feet and thank God I can show you how to do that. 

Of course, men wearing "women's" shoes is not new.  I've always adored the Trocks, the ballet company of men who dance in pointe shoes and in drag. You're welcome.

 

Just the thing for the stylish space cadet!

Would you splash through rain puddles in these?  Or just leap over moon rocks in sssllooooow mmmotiooooonnnnnn? 

I learned something there.  You can't indicate a slow speed in read-back with a sound like "-tion" because you would get a hard "t" sound rather than a "sh" sound.  And that would sound ridiculous.  "sssllloooowww mmmmooooottttiiiiooooonnnnn".  That doesn't make sense at all.

Hello.  I'll be your annoying friend today.  Would you like to talk about alliterative devices or onomatopoeias now?  No?  Okay, I'll just sit quietly in my chair here.  But I'll be right here waiting for the time when you are ready for that conversation.

Hummm, mmm, hummm, hummm....

Am I alone in here?

OPI's Try It On

Too bad they don't provide a foot instead of a virtual hand... those of us who love feet will just have to use our imagination (draws rainbow in air over head, like SpongeBob).  I have to use MY imagination because I've never had fingernails like this virtual chick.  When I was a kid I bit my nails and then when I had that under control I took up harp.  You canNOT have fingernails if you play harp -- it turns it into a bluegrass instrument, like a vertical banjo.  Then when I moved on to piano, I found long fingernails make clicking sounds on the keys - urgh.  So, no fingernails and I've never like the look of polish on short fingernails.  

I wish OPI would have a virtual foot to polish.  Click on the "Try On This Color" link once you get to OPI's website.  You can fiddle with fingernail length (although this is as short as they go) and skin tone.  

Just a sign of the bubble that burst?

I was looking at toes (internet-shopping for some nail polish to go with my new FitFlops for our Indian Summer) when I remembered an article I read a few years back.  At the time, women were having their toes surgically shortened so they could wear stilettos again.  Stilettos are beautiful but they are hard on feet because they force an enormous reduction in the range of motion of the ankle and metatarsal heads (ball of the foot) during gait and they are extremely narrow at the toe box.  Many women, once upon a time could tolerate the sacrifice stilettos require but just can't do it anymore because of pain from bunions, hammer toes, and corns.  So they limp, in their sensible SAS shoes, to the friendly podiatrist's office where they are promised they will skip out in Manolo's.  After the stitches come out.    

Doesn't that seem like a different time now?  It just seems so bubble-headed, so extravagant....  And I don't mean just with money - extravagant with the delicate mechanics of your feet!  Your feet!  You don't get another set, mate.  I wonder if women are still doing this surgery or if it has fallen out of fashion.

Spider veins

Sometimes those darn calf muscles develop little spider veins.  Ick.  They distract the viewer's gaze from our feet!  Terrible... and we can't wear tights year-round.  Especially not here in Monterey where we are finally getting our two weeks of summer (we are 62 degrees F practically year-round) and it's our turn to wear shorts and capris and sandals!  Except for yesterday when it rained a little bit.

Anyhoo, the NYTimes has a nice article today about what we can do about spider veins.  Turns out that it's a very simple procedure: injection with a saline-based product is simplest, but laser is effective as well for needle-phobes.  The Times also has a layout on possible herbal treatments, such as marigold and horse chestnut.  Especially since your insurance is not likely to cover cosmetic treatments like this, perhaps we should all try the herbal treatments first.

Read the article and learn a new word!  Telangiectasia.  Sounds like a fruity cocktail made with an orange juice base.

Callus smoother

 

Mmmm!  Doesn't this look good?  Sandal season is coming soon!  (I'm from Monterey, where our "summer" is September and early October.)  And if you don't like sandals, remember the Legwork series where your Pilates instructor is watching your feet every second!  So you should probably shave your toes every once in a while too.  

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, this is called OPI Pedicure Smooth